Saturday 20 March 2010

Little Britain


If things had gone according to plan I would be sitting at my home in England right now catching up with my sis and enjoying my Mum's cooking but my love affair with Namibian authorities continues (I have previously had the pleasure of sitting in customs for 8 hours when i first arrived). This time the government have decided to put a hold on all work visa application forms until after they have a 'committee meeting' (I have to apply for a new visa every 3 months). Therefore, if I turned up at the airport without proof that I was legally allowed to be here I would be arrested. I find this out the day before my flight and lets just say happy I was not!

However, Kate and I still went to Windhoek and enjoyed a very relaxing weekend eating great food, going to the movies and shopping at the Mall. It was at the Mall where I saw something that I knew I had to buy and bring back to Boskop.....a dart board! I thought that if I couldn't go back to the UK I would bring the UK to Africa. So upon my return to CCF I enjoyed a couple of days of and went about creating my own English pub far away from home. The dart board went up along with some football memorabilia and some photos of classic english culture. The bar itself was equipped with Union Jacks, crisps, peanuts and of course a healthy supply of booze!!


I am very proud to say that the Boskop Arms’ opening night was a huge success and everyone had a great time playing darts, being served drinks by a generous host and dancing long into the night (which is about 11pm for us here at CCF!)



So there we have it, the Boskop Arm's is open for business, feel free to pop by anytime :)

Sunday 7 March 2010

I'm the Supervisor

One of the most important events of my life happened not too long ago....I was introduced by James to the music of psychedelic trace band Infected Mushroom! There is nothing like turning up the volume and bass as high as they can go on your stereo system and playing a Mushroom track. Tracks called such things as Scorpion Frog, Blue Muppet, Disco Mushroom, Death Killer, Frog Machine and most notably......I'm the Supervisor. I'm the Supervisor was the first track i heard from the Room and has become myself and James' CCF anthem and contains the lyrics 'I'm the Supervisor, Can i get the taxi number?'. So for a joke between us I changed my Facebook status to: Matt Cleverley is the Supervisor. This somehow caused quite an interest on Facebook and resulted in my longest thread ever. This amused myself and James and we were very proud to have introduced Infected Mushroom into so many lives. So what follows is the Facebook thread that if found by future generations will provide a keen insight into modern civilization, enjoy:

Matt Cleverley is the Supervisor

James Logan Slade:

Can I get the taxi number?
Rob Driessen:

The Supervisor. Coming soon to a cinema near you.
Kate Cleverley:
God help us all!!
Ryan Richards:
No worries, Rob...he can just make Little C captain when the time comes
Christina Martin:
Aww...how cute...you're playing grown-up again ;)
Anne-Marie Gordon:
OMG, has CCF fallen that low??
Laura Linn:
Ha ha, Annie. And all I can think of is you almost hitting a tree while waving to a bus full of high school girls.
Kate Echement:
Jeez, have I been fired already?!
Kate Echement:
I do like how even your own sister is scared :)
Kate Cleverley:
Te he he, would love to see his face when he reads this! But no doubt the supervisore will get his slaves to sweep these meer minions comments aside, we will clearly not be worthy !!!
James Logan Slade:
Heh. Nobody gets it man! Awesome.
Laura Linn:
I get it now, Kate is gone.
Stephen Le Quesne:
wtf?? wow, how things have changed...
Mel Lindeman:
whoa. The mere thought is pretty terrifying...
Matt Cleverley:
Hey James, who is the supervisor?
James Logan Slade:
I'm the supervisor.
Matt Cleverley:
Can i get the taxi number?
Helena Anthony:
hahahaha!
Jess Martin:
I'm not sure I understand ANYTHING that is happening in this thread lol
Jourdan Brune:
I can totally see Matt dancing around like a big dork to this song. Sorry guys somebody gets it.
Jourdan Brune:
Or head bobbing and singing along to it on his way to Bellebeno lol
Dennis Wilson:
Matt - I think you need to use your iron fist to squash the minions before they uprise, OR buy them loads of beer!!
Gail Potgieter:
Truth be told, Matt and James are both fruit loops....
Matt Cleverley:
1) I can not believe three little words has caused such a response - 25 comments in a day!
2) Amusingly most of you have absolutely no idea what my original status means.
3) Screw you guys who thought me being in a position of power is a bad thing! Especially you Annie - your comment was like a cold knife into my heart...how could you :(
4) yes I almost crashed into a tree waving at a bus full of people..but the fact they were school girls had nothing to do with it!
5) Gail...this is war...
6) I am the supervisor
James Logan Slade:
7) Can I get the taxi number?
Rob Thomson:
Hate to say it, but Gail's right!
Kate Echement:
OH MY GOD IT'S THAT SHITTY SONG ISN'T IT?! Although, I agree with both Rob and Gail, you two are a bunch of fruit loops....and thanks to Laura for reminding me about the whole almost crashing the car while trying to wave at all the high school girls that were 10 years younger than you... Matthew! :) Miss me yet? ;)
Nick Boire:
Sigh. I miss you guys
Matt Cleverley:
You have no taste, it is 8 glorious minutes of techno on steroids! AWSOME! We played it today whilst driving some of the worker's kids into town...i think we traumatized them ha ha ha!
James Logan Slade:
Yeah man, screw these guys. We're gonna run, run, run to the cities of the Future!
Matt Cleverley:
hell yeah, lets take what we can and bring it back home!
Ryan Richards:
Hahaha, never thought I'd watch a bromance develop on facebook. Good call, Gail. This is too cute...
James Logan Slade:
F##k you brown-haired guy. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into. Albibeno.
Ryan Richards:
Miss you too, James. Trying to find this song...
Rob Thomson:
Take care Matt, you don't want to make John jealous!
Matt Cleverley:
I want to see a scorpion frog
James Logan Slade:
He says "I found myself". Hahaha. The way your mind works is almost as bad as Kate's sometimes...
Kate Echement:
holy jesus... is this what happens when i'm not around to keep you boys in check? although i too conquer with brown haired guy on the whole budding bromance that has unfolded before our eyes... i guess the whole 'he's not gay, he's british' doesn't apply in this case ;) jeez matthew I leave you alone for a few days and already you have a new cuddle bunny in your life ;) hehehehehehehehe BRING IT BIOTCHES! OH and james, Pens beat calagary last night :)
Matt Cleverley:
would you please stop calling me Matthew, you sound like my mother! Me and James are not cuddle bunnies...........we are the supervisors
Kate Echement:
is that british for gay :) and i only sound like your mother when i'm yelling 'Matthew' capital M, lower case m is me simply shaking my head in disbelief at you.... with love of course :*
Rob Thomson:
It's not even a good song!
Matt Cleverley:
ah, but we got you and Gail dancing to the mushroom last night at the Boskop rave!
James Logan Slade:
They all danced. They're trying not to admit it but they all danced. Hahaha. Suckers.
Kate Echement:
Wow... so sorry I missed the Boskop rave... well not really because I hate that freaking song, but it would have been fun to see Rob and Gail dancing to it :)
Rob Thomson:
They're lying. I went to bed when the dancing started. I can't speak for Gail, although I did see her strenuously resisting the people trying to drag her onto the dance floor.
Matt Cleverley:
ok, we need to wrap this one up and get it to 50 comments! So after all this heated debate who among you has become a roomer?!! Come on people, raise your hand and shout loud and proud: 'YES, I am the supervisor!'
Kate Echement:
Yeah.... I don't think you've recruited anyone for that stupid song/band.... but I will help you make it to 50 ;)
Kate Cleverley:
hmm seems no one is with you on this one bro, i shall b interested in finding out what this song is!
James Logan Slade:
"This music sounds like the Titanic sinking" -Rob "Exactly, everybody is shocked and then it become legendary!" -James (Or something to that effect...)
Kate Cleverley:
and he's done it 51!!! comments!!!

Friday 5 March 2010

The Morkel Metre


Have you ever looked at someone or something and wondered how tall it is but wished there was a universal way of measuring it without the confusion of working out how many centre metres are in an inch, how many inches are in a metre etc etc? Well thankfully myself and James have come up with an ingenious solution - in order to measure something in a universally simple and applicable way, just use your smallest staff member! This way all your colleagues will know exactly what you mean without any confusion. In our case our smallest staff member is vet technician Cheri Morkel. Myself and James tested this new system amongst ourselves and guessed how tall something was by gauging how many Morkel’s it was, for example we found a dead snake and mused that it was one Morkel long and when guessing our tallest staff member’s height - Rhino tracker and impersonator Rob Thomson, we mused 1 and a half Morkels. But we needed a method of knowing for sure, so we set about the task of attaining the true height of Cheri Morkel and creating the first official Morkel Metre. I used my Ninja like cunning and whilst measuring a cheetah box with the Morkel I pounced and took the measurement before the Morkel had any idea what was going on. We found the perfect sized stick and the Morkel Metre was ready for its unavailing!


We found the Morkel in her natural environment of the clinic and James did a lovely speech in front of other invited staff members and the Morkel Metre made it’s entrance. Cheri appeared overcome with emotion and was rendered speechless. No doubt having a unit of measurement created in her honor was something she had only dare dream about. To have that dream come true must have been the most important moment in her life. She thanked us and the Morkel Metre’s first test was to measure the Morkel herself and it passed with flying colours, the Morkel Metre was exactly one Morkel high and so the measuring could begin! The office bristled with excitement and everyone wanted to find out just how many Morkels they were.


Most importantly the world now finally knows that Rob Thomson is exactly one and a quarter Morkels! It was a great day for science and myself and James will be eagerly waiting for our thoroughly deserved Nobel Prizes!