Thursday 22 October 2009

4507: The Goat Devil


The creature you see above is one of our milking goats and his ear tag identifies him as number 4507. Do not be fooled, this is no ordinary goat for when you look into 4507’s eyes you are staring into the eyes of a devil……..an evil goat devil!!!!

4507 and his cohorts have been housed in a small pen designed for holding leopards near one of our cheetah pens along with Amos, one of livestock guarding dogs, who had to be removed from the goat kraal whilst some of our females were in heat (we didn’t want him mating with them just yet). So seeing as the pen was close to a cheetah pen I was tasked with feeding Amos and the goats during my daily feeding routine. I was forewarned about 4507 by our safari guide James who had a disturbing encounter with the goat devil whilst placing the goats in the pen the previous day. During the drive to the pen 4507 attacked James and tried to bit him in a man’s most vulnerable place!

With this warning in my mind I went to feed the goats for the first time. The first thing I needed to do was close a guillotine separating the goats from Amos so he could eat his food in peace. It is important to note that at this point I am now in the side with the goats (in order to collect the feeding bowl and change their water). I then handed the bowl over to a volunteer through another guillotine so they could fill it up with goat food, and it was at this moment the goat devil made his move and head butted me in the backside before jumping straight at me and onto my back. I pushed the foul beast away but back he came, grunting and trying to butt me some more. The food was finally ready so I opened the guillotine and attempted to grab the bowl when you know who jumped on me again! This time his minions joined in and I ended up being surrounded by goats as I desperately tried to pull the feeding bowl through. I eventually had hold of the bowl but my next ordeal was trying to free myself and get to a position where I could spread out the food into their feeding trough. This I was eventually able to do with some excellent dodging and weaving – Regular readers of my blog will remember that I possess ninja like skills that enabled me to overcome the ferocity of a psycho baby warthog!

I knew I was in for the same treatment the next day because when I approached the pen the goat devil was already waiting for me, standing right at the gate staring at me with evil intent! I was head butted some more and jumped on numerous times. This was the way it went for the next few days but to my horror things took a much more sinister turn and left me with no doubt that 4507 was indeed a creature from the darkest depths.

As I entered the pen I was greeted by a bloody stringy mass hanging from the guillotine and at first had no idea where it came from, however a closer inspection of the pen uncovered a poor mongoose carcass and most disturbingly it’s intestines had been removed and tied up on the fence! There could only be one conclusion drawn….the goat devil had used his satanic powers and made an animal sacrifice in order to try and get to my soul!! Later on that day a Jackal carcass was found in a tree close by our eating area and a dead hartebeest was also discovered…..coincidence? I think not!!!!!



For the last few days I have been on my guard and stopped the goat devil from carrying out any more heartless attacks. The last day I had to feed him he was especially bad, jumping on my back and trying to bite my ear off, but I had the last say as I successfully wrestled him into the back of the car and took him back to the goat kraal from whence he came. As I walked away he gave me one last evil look, but little does he know that one day soon he needs to be dipped and when that day comes I will be there to personally carry out the procedure and then true revenge will be mine!!

2 comments:

Tam said...

Poor Matt! You always have to fight the most vicious animals: devil goats, malicious warthog- babies, mosquitos trying to suck on your brain,... Predators (like.... hmm, let's say cheetahs) are nothing compared to that! :)

Anonymous said...

It sounds to me as if Goat Devil is in love!! And someone is playing hard to get (Matt). Tee hee.