This is the first time Kate has been back home in over two years so for the last month she has been acting like an excited child on Christmas eve. For me it is my first time to the US of A, and I have really been looking forward to immersing myself in all things American, especially the food! It is also the first time Kate and I have gone away TOGETHER in the whole time we have been together, that alone has been great.
But before the fun could begin we of course had to get here and the journey was interesting to say the least. The flight from Windhoek to J'burg was fine but getting on the plane to Atlanta proved more troublesome. When we arrived at the gate we were greeted by two enormous ques one for the men and one for the women, the purpose being an extra controlled security check. I joined the men's que and watched as passengers removed their shoes, were scanned and had bags searched. I was stood for only a couple of minutes before I was asked by an official to step aside and follow him for a thorough search. 'Thorough?' I thought to myself, if the searches everyone else is having isn't thorough what the hell is in store for me!? I was in no mood to get a gloved finger poked where the sun doesn't shine!
I ended up in a room with a handful of other selectees and where we were again made to form the two ques. Playing from speakers in the ceiling was music by Enrique Englesias, maybe this was some form of psychological test or a way of flushing out any western culture hating terrorists, who knows? I awaited my turn tapping my toes to the music and watched the procedure which appeared to be much of the same but with an extra thorough frisking and a part where they wiped some sort of pad over the palms of the hands.
I ended up in a room with a handful of other selectees and where we were again made to form the two ques. Playing from speakers in the ceiling was music by Enrique Englesias, maybe this was some form of psychological test or a way of flushing out any western culture hating terrorists, who knows? I awaited my turn tapping my toes to the music and watched the procedure which appeared to be much of the same but with an extra thorough frisking and a part where they wiped some sort of pad over the palms of the hands.
I passed the inspection and liking cheesy pop music turned out not to be a reason for detention so I was allowed onto the plane and thankfully met back up with Kate. The flight from J'burg to Atlanta would be almost 16 hours, one of the longest if not THE longest flight you can experience. My big problem on flights is that I find it almost impossible to sleep and so I engaged in a marathon movie watching session. After a sleepless 11 hours I started to not feel well at all; not drinking enough and staring at the little TV screen ensured I got a thumping headache. When we started our descent the change in altitude made me feel nauseous and I had to visit the bathroom just before landing to throw up. I REALLY wanted off the plane.
Getting some fresh air was a welcome relief but as we entered customs another huge que greeted us; fighting the desire to pass out I entered the foreign visitors que and proceeded to be the last person through the process due to being given a right grilling by the customs officer who wanted to know my entire life story and my exact movements for my entire stay - maybe this was the consequence of tapping my toes to Enrique Englesias? Desperate for a drink and the chance to sit down I was almost through only to be ushered to ANOTHER que as the inquisitive customs officer had assigned me to have further screening due to coming from Africa and having worked on a farm.
But even after this I had one more hurdle to go through as we had arranged to meet up with a good friend of ours and former CCF intern Ashley; which meant having to exit the arrival terminal, requiring another shoe removal, bag check and walking through a device that looked like something out of Star Trek.
This whole process was tortuous and by the time we met up with Ashley at
the Atlanta Bread Company all I could do was give her a hug and pass out
on the seating area. Kate played nurse and made me chug down some water and take some drugs. As Kate and Ashley caught up I found some strength to go to the bathroom splash water on my face and change my stinking shirt. It was here I had an experience not too dissimilar to a scene in the first Austin Powers movie and I warn those of you with a nervous disposition, this will not be pleasant!
I was sat in a cubicle and despite having the choice of dozens of open stalls a gentleman entered the one right next to me, sat down and proceeded to make enormously loud grunts, groans and noises I will leave to your imagination. With my condition as sensitive as it was this really was not what I needed and I came very close to throwing up again. Those of you who remember the Austin Powers scene will remember the punch line "What the Hell did you eat!?" but I did not hang around to find out!!
I felt really bad saying goodbye to Ashley after being useless company with only a horrendous toilet based anecdote to offer, but she had to get to work and we had a flight to Pittsburgh to catch. Once through security and back into departures I was in serious need of something to pick up my spirits, and being in the USA I of course found it.....the American Dream......a delicious ice cream flavour from Ben and Jerry's.
By the time our flight landed in Pittsburgh I felt somewhat better and was able to act like a normal human being when being greeted by Kate's parents Jim and Phylis and Kate's sister Allison. Thankfully I had already met Jim and Phyllis during their holiday to Namibia last year (I had also previously met Kate's brother and sister in law) so thankfully I didn't have the pressure of meeting all of the important family members for the first time. Also they all happen to be extremely nice and haven't tried to warn me off Robert Deniro style........yet! :-/
It was here my exploration into American cuisine began as we went straight to one of Kate's favourite restaurants 'Chipotle Mexican Grill'. Having not eaten breakfast and feeling better my appetite was back and I was well up for some good grub. I was not to be disappointed, I have a feeling Chipotle will be one of my favorites; lots of different options, spicy and very very tasty! I give it a Matt's American Adventure score of two thumbs up! :)
We then went to Kate's parents house which as I mentioned earlier is really nice and in a nice area; and despite my mother's concern about me coming to the states, not a single gun shot could be heard :)
We unpacked and relaxed on the back deck; Jim made Frozen Margaritas and Phyllis handed me a present, two boxes of Twinkies! A Twinkie was first on my list of things to try when Kate and I first started planning for this trip. This is because the name Twinkie has always been in my head from watching American TV and Movies, most notably in the recent film 'Zombie Land'. From seeing it on screen it appeared to be a simple sponge cake with cream inside but I discovered it to have an almost mythical reputation with stories about it having no shelf life and being one of the few things able to withstand a nuclear holocaust.
So I wasted no time removing the fabled Twinkie out of its wrapper and took a bite.......and it tasted like a simple sponge cake with a cream inside. An enjoyable snack but not my choice of fuel if I was ever caught up in a zombie attack. So somewhat disappointingly I give the Twinkie a Matt's American Adventure score of "Meh".
It has to be said most of Kate's family have found my fascination with the Twinkie a little bit odd, as none are great fans themselves. But as I told Jim and Phyllis as they laughed at me munching on a Twinkie with one hand and holding a Frozen Margarita in the other, from my point of view I was 'living the dream'!
The next chapter will feature much more of my impressions of Pittsburgh, especially as I will be running through much of it in the Pittsburgh Marathon, I hope I survive to tell you about it!
PS - Much better photos will coming when Kate and I buy ourselves a camera in the next few days!
Getting some fresh air was a welcome relief but as we entered customs another huge que greeted us; fighting the desire to pass out I entered the foreign visitors que and proceeded to be the last person through the process due to being given a right grilling by the customs officer who wanted to know my entire life story and my exact movements for my entire stay - maybe this was the consequence of tapping my toes to Enrique Englesias? Desperate for a drink and the chance to sit down I was almost through only to be ushered to ANOTHER que as the inquisitive customs officer had assigned me to have further screening due to coming from Africa and having worked on a farm.
But even after this I had one more hurdle to go through as we had arranged to meet up with a good friend of ours and former CCF intern Ashley; which meant having to exit the arrival terminal, requiring another shoe removal, bag check and walking through a device that looked like something out of Star Trek.
I was sat in a cubicle and despite having the choice of dozens of open stalls a gentleman entered the one right next to me, sat down and proceeded to make enormously loud grunts, groans and noises I will leave to your imagination. With my condition as sensitive as it was this really was not what I needed and I came very close to throwing up again. Those of you who remember the Austin Powers scene will remember the punch line "What the Hell did you eat!?" but I did not hang around to find out!!
By the time our flight landed in Pittsburgh I felt somewhat better and was able to act like a normal human being when being greeted by Kate's parents Jim and Phylis and Kate's sister Allison. Thankfully I had already met Jim and Phyllis during their holiday to Namibia last year (I had also previously met Kate's brother and sister in law) so thankfully I didn't have the pressure of meeting all of the important family members for the first time. Also they all happen to be extremely nice and haven't tried to warn me off Robert Deniro style........yet! :-/
It was here my exploration into American cuisine began as we went straight to one of Kate's favourite restaurants 'Chipotle Mexican Grill'. Having not eaten breakfast and feeling better my appetite was back and I was well up for some good grub. I was not to be disappointed, I have a feeling Chipotle will be one of my favorites; lots of different options, spicy and very very tasty! I give it a Matt's American Adventure score of two thumbs up! :)
We unpacked and relaxed on the back deck; Jim made Frozen Margaritas and Phyllis handed me a present, two boxes of Twinkies! A Twinkie was first on my list of things to try when Kate and I first started planning for this trip. This is because the name Twinkie has always been in my head from watching American TV and Movies, most notably in the recent film 'Zombie Land'. From seeing it on screen it appeared to be a simple sponge cake with cream inside but I discovered it to have an almost mythical reputation with stories about it having no shelf life and being one of the few things able to withstand a nuclear holocaust.
So I wasted no time removing the fabled Twinkie out of its wrapper and took a bite.......and it tasted like a simple sponge cake with a cream inside. An enjoyable snack but not my choice of fuel if I was ever caught up in a zombie attack. So somewhat disappointingly I give the Twinkie a Matt's American Adventure score of "Meh".
The next chapter will feature much more of my impressions of Pittsburgh, especially as I will be running through much of it in the Pittsburgh Marathon, I hope I survive to tell you about it!
PS - Much better photos will coming when Kate and I buy ourselves a camera in the next few days!
1 comment:
I never realized the potential behind an Enrique Englesias screening!
Glad you made it through mate,
Lil Matt
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